Running free

When was the last time you ran in the rain ? I don’t mean ran out of the rain. I mean the last time you really let go and let down your hair and just took in the moment.

You’re probably thinking back to your childhood aren’t you ? And honestly I would have been too if I hadn’t decided to take a run today.

The experience was pretty amazing ! I felt free , liberated and exhilarated. The run in itself was beautiful and therapeutic. I felt like a little girl again ; I felt overly happy , free , untouchable as though nothing could bring me down.

I thought of why I haven’t feel this free in a while. Life happens and we grow up. We have adult obligations and we have little or no time to run in the rain or smell the roses.

I vowed in that moment that I will always make time to run in the rain. Not literally , but I will make time for the things that make me feel free and authentic. The things that make me smile and genuinely happy.

I hope you find those things that make you come alive, that make you smile and feel free. I wish you get to run in the rain.

In the words of Lee Ann Womack “ and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance … I hope you dance.”

Today , tomorrow , forever , I hope you dance.

Show up anyway !

Not everyday is a good day , show up anyway. Not everyone tells the truth , trust anyway. Not everyone will love you back , love anyway. Not every game will be fair , play anyway.”

About two years ago, I strategically placed a poster with these words by my bed. It’s usually the first thing I see each morning which gives me the extra push I need to break free from the comfort of my bed.

These words act as a form of motivation and have changed my mood too many times to count. These words remind me that no matter what life throws at me ;I am resilient and I need to show up!

I particularly like how the author of this quote clearly states that bad things have happened and will happen but that doesn’t mean you give up. This has always been my attitude to life.

No matter how down I may feel today or tomorrow , you better believe that the next day I am going to get up and fight another day. This is a winner’s mindset !

All have failed. The most successful people all have stories of how they were rejected from jobs , how they failed in marriages , how they lost everything and had to start from scratch ; but the one thing that is similar in all of these stories is the mindset of resilience and perseverance.

I don’t know what’s going on in your life. I don’t know what’s keeping you from climbing out of bed or breaking free from whatever is negatively affecting you ; but I know this , if you get up and believe you can make a change or if you simply show up , that’s the hardest part covered.

Showing up is not about anyone. Showing up is about you! Showing up is about taking a chance on yourself ;believing in yourself enough to fight on even when it seems like you are fighting alone. What makes showing up especially powerful is showing up with a winner’s mindset. The mindset of resilience and perseverance.

This quote has inspired me , as I hope it will inspire you! Whatever you’re doing right now I want you to stop and say these words “ Today is going to be an awesome day because I will show up today”

If you truly believe these words I guarantee you that amazing things will happen today ! Obstacles will come but a positive attitude will always lead to positive outcomes.

Have a great day loves. xoxo

Take a Hike

Jaime Lyn Beatty said “ Jobs fill your pockets , but adventures fill your soul.”

Recently hiking has been filling my soul. I fell in love with hiking about a year ago when I was invited to a birthday hike and I’ve been in love with hiking since.

When I started , hiking it was honestly just about weight loss , I had put on some quarantine weight and I desperately wanted to get it off by my bday, which I was able to do thanks to consistently hiking , running and working out.

Shortly after my birthday I stopped.

I missed hiking so much I had no choice but to restart. You see, hiking is so much more than just a workout.

Hiking is therapeutic . Being outdoors just makes me feel better. Hiking extremely enhances my mood , and once I hike early in the morning I’m almost guaranteed to have an awesome day.

Hiking is scenic . Some of the views I experience on hikes cannot be properly captured in pictures , but have to be seen to get the full picture.

Hiking is an escape. Who doesn’t need an escape sometimes ?? I mean after all we are still living in a pandemic. Life gets tough , life gets crazy but when I’m outdoors conquering a hill , feeling like I’ll legitimately die somehow whatever else is going on in my life seems less significant.

Hiking is complex. It’s fun but yet super challenging. It’s very intense but also very exciting. I never know where I’ll end up or what I’ll encounter and the thrill of it all makes me come back each and every time.

Finally , Hiking makes me happy. When I’m having a bad day or stressed, hiking is almost always guaranteed to make my mood and my day better. I just love how it makes me feel.

I can’t lie though , I am not upset about these hiking gains. Summer is coming , which means my birthday is coming up too and I’m loving how my birthday suit is feeling and looking.

Hiking may not be your thing , but it certainly could be a thing if you ever need a high intensity, picturesque and fun escape for about 1 to 3 hours.

It’s not the mountain we conquer but ourselves. ~ Edmund Hillary

As usual , have a great day loves. Xoxo

Life rarely goes as planned

I wanted to blog yesterday , I tried for hours to find something I was passionate about or actually wanted to speak about and kept coming up empty , so eventually I gave up.

It’s 4 am and I’m lying in bed staring at the ceiling where I can see the outline of my vision board and thinking that Life rarely goes as planned.

It wasn’t my plan to meet my fiance the day I did or in the way I did. I certainly wasn’t looking for love as I had decided that I was going to work on myself.

It was certainly not my plan to start my own law practice just a few months after finishing law school.

It wasn’t my plan to be struggling with my weight over the last couple years.

It wasn’t my plan to be randomly writing this blog at this time either as the plan was to write about Love since it’s February.

I’ve said all of this to say that Life rarely goes as planned. And a lot of the times , the unexpected or unplanned things that happen in our lives are much more rewarding than the plans we had in mind.

Though it wasn’t the plan I’ll be marrying the man I love in a few months.

Though it wasn’t the plan I am proud to have my own law practice today.

Though it wasn’t the plan to have taken this long , I have lost a lot of weight and plan to continue on my fitness journey. I am also living a much healthier lifestyle than I was when I was comfortable with my weight.

Though it wasn’t the plan I am very happy with the content of this blog.

Some decisions require extensive planning , but sometimes even after all the planning your life may take an unexpected turn. Sometimes all you can do is grab an oar and row.

The pandemic has reminded us that tommorow is not promised and that plans may change in the blink of an eye.

An old Yiddish proverb says “ We plan , God laughs” or more popularly “ If you want to make God laugh , tell him about your plans”.

Life rarely goes as planned but there is always a plan.

If you enjoyed this blog , Please like , share and feel free to comment and share what hasn’t gone as planned for you.

Have a great day loves. Be blessed. Xoxo

What’s on your vision board ?

At the end of each year I take some time to reflect on the year that has passed. The ups , the downs , the highs and the lows and I carefully assess the goals I did and did not achieve.

This process is crucial as it gives me the clear perspective that is necessary to create my vision board for the upcoming year.

This year, instead of putting my vision board on the wall by my bed as I usually do , I stuck it right above my bed. My vision board is now the first thing I see every morning and the last thing I see before bed at night.

This should totally be a life hack. I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve been lying in my bed feeling lazy or discouraged and I would glance up and see my vision board and know I have to get up and get it together !

I’m not here to sell you on vision boards , but I am here to sell you on making plans/goals and sticking to them. Vision boards help create a clear vision , a clear path , which will help you remain accountable to yourself and to your goals.

If you haven’t created your vision board as yet , it is not too late. All you need to get started is a sheet of paper.

You need to break down your goals into categories. These are the major categories I use :

Physical/Fitness – this can include your body goals. It may be a specific goal weight , to get back into the gym or simply to be more active.

Health – this can be to have a healthier lifestyle or can be more specific like cutting certain foods from your diet.

Spiritual – this can be as simple as reading the Bible more or going to church more often. If you aren’t a Christian or a believer feel free to skip.

Financial – this can be how much money you would like to save by the end of the year , a list of the debts you want to pay off or the things you want to achieve financially for the year like owning your own home or investing in stocks.

Personal – this can be to get into a relationship or to get out of one. It can be to move out of your parent’s house or can be as simple as making more time for pampering yourself.

Goals – This is my favourite section. Goals are your dreams. These are the big things that you may or may not accomplish this year but you will work toward every year until you do. I won’t give any ideas because goals are personal and I don’t want to limit you or advise you , I want you to Dream Big !

Career – This can be a plan to start your own business or get a promotion or a raise at work.

I know it’s February and a bit late for a vision board but this year like last year has been tough and chaotic. I urge you to make some time in the midst of everything going on and make a plan.

Even if you don’t want to make a vision board just write your goals down. Remember , A goal without a plan is just a wish ~ Antoine de Saint- Exupery

If you already completed your vision board feel free to share what’s on your vision board !

Have a great day loves ! Be blessed xoxo

Don’t wait for January 1st, start today !

Morning loves ,

It’s your local , not so fatty anymore! Your girl has not regained the weight she’s lost thus far. So cheers to that !

A little over a month ago, I got lazy and had taken a month off from working out, I had completed a bootcamp at the end of October and just was not feeling motivated to do much more.

I had decided I’ll just hit a gym and start weight training the beginning of January when it hit me , “ that’s so damn cliche”.

So I called @bodybyfrank , set up an assessment and the rest was history. It’s one of the best decisions I’ve made for the year!

If you were like me and waiting for the cliche Jan 2nd gym membership , I’m here to tell you to get up and start today! You have nothing to lose and so much to gain.

“Don’t put off until tommorow what you can do today” ~ Benjamin Franklyn

It may not be the gym or a new fitness journey you need to begin ;it may be a totally different journey. It may be a business opportunity, a relationship or the start of a new , better you! Here’s your motivation to go for it ! Your only limit is you !

In the words of Napoleon HillYour only limitation is the one you set up in your own mind”

So free your mind today ! Make today the start of that new journey ! Have a great day loves !

2020 is still our year !

This morning I woke up feeling down , I sat on my bed for a couple minutes trying to find the energy to get my butt up and get ready for work.

I eventually ended up crawling back into bed and scrolling through some old photos, I eventually came across my photos from January 1st 2020. As I stared at the pictures I immediately began to feel motivated; for starters , I am significantly slimmer than I was when I started the year , 20 lbs lighter to be exact 🙂.

I also noticed the genuine joy and anticipation on my face as I eagerly awaited 2020! I guess most of us felt that way. It was going to be the dawn of a new day , a new age , a new decade !

And it was !

It was also the dawn of an unprecedented year for all of us , but if you’re reading this that means you’re still alive and if you’re still alive that means there’s hope and with hope comes endless possibilities.

This is your timely reminder that 2020 is not over yet ! It’s far from over !

With 4 months , 112 days , 16 hours left in this year I want to urge you to keep going ! You can still finish the year strong 💪🏾

I know you may not have achieved all of the goals you set this year , maybe you’re way off the mark , but I want you to focus on just one major goal and dedicate the remainder of this year to achieving it ! That goal is totally up to you ! Instead of finding all the reasons why you can’t , focus on the reasons why you can.

Ask yourself ! What can I do today that will make my year better ? When you answer this question , Get up and go get it !

I believe in you , You’ve got this !

Let’s finish 2020 strong 💪🏾

I’m 28 today y’all and this year I think I’ll share a little bit more about myself. So without further ado , here it is.

1. I am a Seventh- day Adventist Christian and I take my religion very seriously.

2. Family means the world to me. When I say “Family First” it is no joke.

3. I am in a relationship. I however keep my relationship private since it’s not anyone’s business but ours. But if you know you know.

4. My best friend is my brother. Has always been and will always be. We are the definition of Day 1’s ; We’ve been riding together from the time we were wearing pampers.

5. Stop asking me about children ! It is not a priority for me right now , nor does it fit into my plan. You need to be fruitful before you multiply !

6. I love travelling.

7. I love scrapbooking and journaling.

8. I am a self professed event planner/co-ordinator. I dare you to find someone who plans a better game or date night than I do.

9. I’m a guy’s girl. I don’t have a lot of female friends ; about 4 to be exact and I love it that way. It honestly saves me a lot of drama.

10. I am extremely extroverted. I therefore connect with people easily and have meaningful conversations with people I will probably not encounter again. I look forward to this , especially when I travel.

11. When I Love , I Love hard ! Whether it’s my family , friends or my significant other. Just know if you’re in my circle you’re loved.

12. I am a self professed poet.

13. I am currently working on a novel. Shhh 🤫

14. I am Vegan.

15. I love Reggae and Gospel.

16. I would quit my job as an attorney to become a writer in a heartbeat but my passion needs funding.

17. I am one of the founders and the current president of The Love Prints Charity.

18. I love older people. I especially enjoy their stories and I used to volunteer at a Senior Citizens Home pre Covid. I’m saddened that I can’t see them anymore but obviously I understand why.

19. I never edit or read over my blogs. I get so excited when I’m done one that I just post it. That’s why there will probably be typos. Don’t judge me.

20. I don’t like water. Yep ! I said what I said.

21. I finally lost some of the weight I’ve been struggling with. Only 18 more lbs to go.

22. I am patiently waiting for my Eiffel Tower kiss.

23. I cry at sad movies and I probably always will.

24. I beat my pineapple allergy.

25. I totally believe what Philippians 4:13 says. I literally believe that there is nothing I cannot achieve with God’s help.

27. I recently started hiking and I love it !

28. I am thankful and blessed to be able to see yet another birthday.

I know I’m going to have a great day because I have plans with my friends and family all day. I hope you guys have a good one too.

As always be blessed. Love y’all xoxo

Dear Future Self

If I had to write a letter to myself in 5 to 10 years I’m not exactly sure what it would say but they are a few key points that I’d definitely make to her.

Dear Future self

1. Always put God first. If for whatever reason you haven’t been to church or prayed for a while , take a moment and get on your knees.

2. After God , Family comes next. Always make time for Family , whether it’s a game night or a call to your gran just to say Hi. Make the time. Remember that some friends are Family and make time for them too. You are never too busy for the ones who matter most.

3. If you are unhappy in a situation, Change it. Whether it’s a relationship , friendship or even a job. If it makes you unhappy it has to go. Do not settle ever !

4. Continue to Love hard. Most persons won’t appreciate or deserve it , but being a good person and caring about others isn’t about them it’s about you.

5.There is Nothing you cannot achieve once you put your mind to it. Remember when you accomplished your first major dream the joy you felt walking across that stage ! You can and will achieve anything you want. You just have to make it happen.

6.Take responsibility for your circumstances. Don’t blame others , don’t blame your parents don’t even blame society. You were never one to have an attitude of entitlement or play the victim and now is not the time to start.

7. Be Honest always. No matter the situation and no matter the cost.

8. Remember to practice Self Love daily. If you haven’t made time for your self lately, make some time this weekend. Love yourself first.

9. Don’t second guess yourself. When you thought through something and you’ve made a decision , stick to it. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for doing what you believe in.

10. If you haven’t accomplished everything you thought you would by now. It’s okay. You are not in competition with anyone but yourself. Don’t judge yourself by the standards of others. Just keep going , you’re capable of accomplishing greater things than you’ve ever thought possible.

Finally Vegan !

Those who would’ve read my blog on how I became Pescatarian would recall that I tried to become vegan early last year but failed miserably because I was ill prepared. But this year , July 1st , I took the dive again and so far I’ve been swimming pretty well.

I’ve always wanted to become Vegan. My mother, as in most areas of my life has been my biggest influence. She has been vegan for over 30 years and just leads a very healthy lifestyle, I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen her eat any type of junk food , EVER . This lady has no cheat days. When offered stuff she doesn’t eat , she always says “ my body is my temple and certain things don’t go into my body”.

Also , as I mentioned before, I did my research and there is scientific evidence to prove that a diet devoid of animal products is not only healthier but it reduces the risk of several diseases including Cancer , which I’ve lost persons to and have watched family members grapple with. So for me , it’s personal.

This time I wasn’t going to fail again. I wasn’t going to go in cold turkey so I paced myself. I began by cutting dairy from my diet. This was really hard at first. I’ve always had a love hate relationship with cheese. My favourite dish in my Twenties has been Alfredo Pasta and I couldn’t imagine life without it , but after eating cheese dishes like Alfredo Pasta and Macaroni pie , I’d always feel lethargic and just be forced to sleep or atleast lie down. When I took dairy , especially cheese out of my diet , I realized a drastic difference in the way I felt.

Normally I’d feel very lethargic after meals comprising of dairy but when I cut it out completely I can’t recall the last time I’ve wanted to sleep after a meal. I have way more energy now , hence I’ve be working out daily and hiking 2 day’s a week.

After cutting dairy from my diet , I began to try some vegan dishes I saw online. Some of them I loved. I’ve been trying different tofu recipes and most are actually pretty good. I eventually started to get tired of fish which I had already cut to about 2 or 3 times a month. So giving up fish was pretty easy for me. I did my research to ensure I found proper protein replacements and I let that go.

My aim is to keep my diet mostly organic , i.e fresh fruits and vegetables as I want to avoid processed foods as they aren’t particularly healthy.

My journey has just began but I’m determined to keep going. It’s day 13 of forever , and my only regret is that I didn’t begin this journey earlier.

As usual , have a great day loves. xoxo

2020 isn’t over yet !

2020 is not over yet !

It’s only May. It’s only the 5th month. We still have 7 months left to make a come back !

I acknowledge that this has been a rough year thus far for a lot of persons. We are living in the midst of a pandemic. I know a lot of persons are unemployed , stressed , low on funds , maybe just feeling a bit depressed.

But if you are reading this; you have life and that means there is hope! It is time to wake up , take off those sweats, shower , put on something cute and make a plan!

You’re probably thinking, it’s easier said than done right ?! Wrong. It can be easily done , but you have to make the first step!

Regardless of how dire your situation, how depressed you may feel or how high the bills may have piled. The fact that you are alive is proof that you a survivor. You can and will survive this !

Last week I posted this meme …

As I looked at my vision board and goals board this morning this definitely rang true. This year has not been going as planned.

I recall at the beginning of the year how thrilled I was to start a new decade. Then Covid-19 came in like a great wrecking ball and just turned the entire world into chaos. It has definitely been the greatest nightmare of my life and the lives of many others.

But when I look at my goals board I don’t think to myself “ damn I didn’t accomplish number 3 or 4 by March , so I’ll give up on the other 15 goals”. I see it as a challenge to be conquered. I am willing and ready to take on whatever else 2020 has in store.

I will not surrender ! I will not give up ! No weapon or pandemic formed against me shall prosper! I will finish this year strong !

Guess what ? You can do the same !

I hope this inspired someone today to get up and fight. 2020 is not over, It has only just begun!

Have a great day and a great remainder of the year ! Be blessed ! Finish the year strong !

How I Became Pescatarian.

Those who have been following my weight loss journey know that it’s been a long 2 years. It’s been 2 years of my weight fluctuating after I put on those 30extra pounds during law school.

About 2 years ago I decided I was focusing too much on weightloss and needed to focus on a healthier lifestyle. This realization came after a close relative was diagnosed with cancer and one of my closest friends was diagnosed with a terminal illness.

When I began my journey I was obsessed with weight loss , and even more obesesed with quick and easy weightloss. I tried tons of diets which made me lose weight quickly, sometimes in as little as three (3) days but the weight would return as soon as I went back to my regular eating habits.

I began doing tons of research on both areas and realized that these non communicable diseases like most others can sometimes be attributed to diet and lifestyle. I noticed certain things in my diet that could lead to these types of diseases and immediately decided a lifestyle change was needed . I gradually cut all meat except fish out of my diet. On July 6th 2018 , I became fully pescatarian.

I also cut a lot of the junk food out of my diet and started a more organic diet consisting mostly of fruits and vegetables. I also limited my use of flour and if I do use it , it’s whole-wheat or multigrain. I cut a lot of sugar out of my diet and my sugar intake generally comes from fruits or all natural fruit smoothies.

Early last year I tried to go vegan ‘cold turkey’ and lasted about three (3) days before feeling really ill. I was unprepared and had not done adequate research to make such a drastic change.

I stuck with being pescatarian for the remainder of the year. This year I decided I wanted to become vegan and I was going to do it before my next birthday. At the beginning of last month I cut dairy out of my diet completely after several attempts this year. I am currently trying vegan dishes so that when I cut fish out of my diet I already have dishes that I will enjoy. I plan to completely cut fish out of my diet at the beginning of July. So stay tuned.

So to make a long story short ; After two years of crazy dieting, I’ve been losing weight and maintaining my weight not by dieting but by simply loving myself enough to adopt a healthier lifestyle.

For those who may be wondering if I miss meat. Absolutely not ! I honestly believe I’d become ill if I attempted to eat meat at this stage. I am extremely turned off by the smell of meat and have decided that meat tops the list of things that have no place in my body.

I love the pescatarian lifestyle , and so far the vegan lifestyle, as I have basically started already since I only have fish on the weekend as I transition into full veganism.

Since I started this lifestyle. I feel healthier, I feel fitter and I’m honestly happier. Since I changed to a healthier lifestyle I’m usually more energetic after meals and pumped for my morning jogs and evening workouts.

I am not trying to convert anyone to my new found love for veganism. But this year is about self love, and because I love myself I refuse to be a slave to my body or my poor eating habits of the past. I hope that I may have touched or encouraged someone to make healthy eating choices too , even if it’s as simple as substituting a snicker bar for a bar of granola.

As always, be blessed and have a great day loves. xoxo

Surviving The Pandemic!

If you live on Planet Earth , I’m sure you are aware that the hot topic for the last couple of months has been COVID-19. Most if not all countries have urged persons to stay indoors for their own safety. Introverts all over the world are shouting for joy and living their best lives indoors as they have always been; playing video games , chilling and just being at peace being alone.

Meanwhile all over the world there is another group of persons , a very dangerous group of persons. This group isn’t a danger to others , no they are a danger to themselves. This group , which I also fall into are the extroverts.

If you are extroverted and like myself forced to stay indoors you may be living your worst nightmare and I’m not even speaking about COVID-19 which is extremely scary, I mean being indoors.

I am in no way seeking to downplay the seriousness of the Pandemic, I am simply genuinely concerned about my fellow extroverts who like need social energy and activity to thrive. So I decided to share a few tips on surviving indoors in this crisis:

1 Netflix

Netflix has been a tremendous comfort for me. Thanks to Netflix I have been able to binge watch Money Heist as soon as it came out and watched Self Made and the first season of Toy Boy in one day. Plus , the Netflix suggestions are perfect for me and a good show or movie is literally just a few clicks away and can be viewed from the comfort of your laptop , tablet or smartphone. Netflix is a definite must have for me.

2 Good Books

Anyone who knows me knows I love a good book. I am the person that gets so immersed in a good book that time stands still. I’m currently reading The Big Picture by Ben Carson , which is a must read and thankfully I have loads of other good books to read as I will be reading 20 new books for this year.

3 Games

I don’t know where I’d be mentally if not for my board games that also help keep my mind intact. I have been playing Scrabble , Monopoly, Jenga , Taboo and Uno with my family at home for the past couple weeks and crushing them. I also play Words with friends online. This is not only fun but lends to great family time , and if your family is as competitive as mine it will be awesome.

4 Plan

I am a planner and journal addict by nature , and the break from work has given me the opportunity to sit back and work on a plan for work , my charity and other endeavors on my return. It gives me a chance to sit back and review what I have accomplished for the year , what I wish to accomplish and to develop a more effective plan going forward.

5 Me Time

When work and life gets busy sometimes it’s hard to fit time in for ourselves. But we have endless me time now. So make the most of it because eventually things will get busy again and you’ll have to make time for me time.

6 Family Time

Anyone who knows me knows I’m big on family. Most of us don’t have the luxury of having all of our immediate family members living together or alive , but for those of us who do let’s make the most of them. Have a movie night , have a game night. You have time ! There is nothing more important than family.

7 Exercise

I’ve seen several memes suggesting that when persons come out of quarantine their summer bodies will be a thing of the past but I refuse to let that be me. It has been hard but I’d been forcing myself to make healthy eating choices and to maintain my workout regime though I’m stuck at home. I bought healthy quarantine snacks and have been drinking my water and working out on evenings and I plan to keep it up. So if you’re getting bored at home do a little 10 minute workout. It will make you feel and look better.

8 Sleep

Those who know me know that sleep comes to the top of my list of values. I really value my sleep and I’ve been getting in lots of sleep and now you have the chance too as well. I generally need 10 hours sleep per night to be my beautiful self but I’ve been glowing cause I’ve been getting way more than that. If you feel like you are losing it, take a deep breath , climb into bed and get some rest.

I know there are persons out there who can totally relate to this blog, and I know that most extroverts like me are creative and have already devised plans to survive this time of crisis and I know we will all make it and come out stronger than ever. But if you aren’t coping well, I hope one of these tips helped.

As always , Be safe , Please stay indoors and when you need to go outdoors please adhere to the rules of social distancing. We will come out of this pandemic stronger guys ! ✊🏾

Have a great day loves.

Don’t Give Up !

Good morning loves ,

This morning, like most mornings I woke to my alarm going off at 5:30 am. I reluctantly put it on snooze allowing myself 5 more minutes as I glare through my window to total darkness. How is it morning already I think to myself.

Eventually around 5:40. I’ll emerge from the safety of my bed, wake up my brother as his similar anguish gives me some form of temporary comfort and am ready by 5:45to go for my morning jog.

I’ve been doing this for over a month and I can’t say that it is getting easier. But I always get up. Even if I ignore my alarm for 30 minutes and crawl out of bed at 6. I still go for a jog. Even if I’m feeling ill , once I check my Fitbit and I have the slightest amount of competition or the other competitors or more than 1000 steps ahead or behind me , I get up.

This morning I left home around 5:48 am. I was cold and miserable and within the first couple minutes my feet were aching but when I looked at my brother. I just couldn’t stop. I had to keep going. I didn’t want him to lose out on his run because I was weak. So I turned up my Lizzo and pushed myself. Yes , I said it! I listen to Lizzo when I run because her music is very upbeat and inspirational for running.

I pushed and pushed and I made it way further than I usually do and than I had expected to make it. My brother even asked me at one point if I wanted to stop but I was adamant that I’m not ready to stop.

Eventually I slowed down and walked a bit. But I made it the entire 3K. I made it because I did not give up.

I’m feeling great and proud of myself and I just wanted to encourage anyone who may be reading this to do the same.

It may not be a morning jog like me. It may be your dream job or any job that you are applying for you may think you are under qualified or not capable of handling , but I urge you not to give up.

It may be a relationship that may not be going great right now but if you think he or she may be the one, Don’t give up.

It may be a task at work that you just can’t seem to complete! Today will be the day that you crush it , maybe you need a break or to tackle it from another angle. Don’t you dare give up!

It may be your dieting or weightloss journey. It may have been years since you started and you aren’t seeing the results you desire , Sis, if I haven’t given up that you surely can’t give up either!

We are in this to win it ! We are not giving up!

Have a great day loves and be blessed.

Stop kissing frogs and expecting them to turn into princes !

Good Morning loves ,

This topic came to me while scrolling through my Instagram stories and seeing the familiar rants of one verbal follower who always has “frog issues”. And then it hit me like a toothache you are never really prepared for. This could be my next blog topic…

Ladies , Ladies ! It’s is 2020 ! We are not wasting our time and energy on frogs!

We are not wasting our time on guys who don’t know what they want ;well I have a theory that they know what they want they just don’t want you sis, it’s time to wake up !

We are not wasting time on mumma’s boys. Let him be with his mumma and find yourself a prince who will make you his number one priority .

We are not wasting our time on f boys. Yes I said f boys because I don’t type expletives. But y’all know what I mean. Stop sleeping with these frogs ! It’s 2020 ! Get a damn toy or something !

I am no frog expert but my motto has always been time is money so don’t waste my time and by this I have managed to keep the frogs away for the most part. There are some frogs who put on some prince costumes sis.

Here are some guidelines to help you spot the frogs.

1. You cannot tell if he is interested

Sis ! It’s because he is not interested in you. Even if your dude is shy his actions will show that he is interested in being with you. When words fail actions will speak. And if his actions and words fail, Stop wasting your time on that frog !

2. You are always the one making plans and initiating conversation

Sis ! If he does not make plans with you , initiate conversation or return your calls or texts. He doesn’t want to talk to you. Stop waiting on a sign and stop bothering that frog he doesn’t want you.

3. He only calls you late in the night but is busy all day unless making plans to come over the night

Sis ! If you put those words together they spell booty call ! Block that frog !

4. You never have deep conversations with him. He never asks about you , your family or friends or anything much deeper than sex

Sis ! Do I really have to say it again ?!! He’s a f-f-f-f-frog !!!!!!

5. You know nothing about him but his damn name *wide eyed emoticon*

6. He keeps repeating the same mistakes and then keeps apologizing cause you keep taking him back

Well Sis , you are clearly happy with you frog ! I wish you the best.

7. He says he doesn’t do relationships but he likes hangingwith you.

I honestly believe that if he genuinely likes you a relationship will always be a possibility. I’ve known several guys who weren’t looking for relationships but got into a relationship with the next lady they dated after frogging one lady for years. Sis ! Let him go find the lady he wants to be with cause it clearly is not you !

8. If you guys never go out in public or when you do its some very secluded place or a drive thru window

Sis ! Quit frogging !

9. Your relationship is basically entirely based on sex

10. He flirts with other ladies infront if you

Sis ! If he does it to your face he clearly has no respect for you. He’s a frog I mean flirt !

Finally , if he looks like a frog , walks like a frog and talks like a frog. Do you really need to kiss him to confirm that he is a frog !

It’s 2020 Sis ! This is the year for Self Love ! Stop kissing that frog and go find your prince !

Have a great day loves ! Feel free to drop a comment or state whether you agree or disagree.

This is the year for Self Love !

Good morning loves ,

We’ve made it to a new year , a new decade, a new age ! This is the year for Self Love !

Persons will argue that Self Love is selfish and it is selfish to put everyone and everything after yourself. However , unless you love yourself first you will be incapable of loving others or being the best version of yourself for others.

Let us devote this year to loving ourselves more!Let us make self love our major goal this year!This year, let us unconditionally love and accept ourselves.

I want us to seriously work on ourselves.

I meet so many people who are broken ; who are still not over an ex ;who don’t feel like they deserve love ;who are so insecure they just take on the persona of whomever they date and sadly most of these persons I encounter are in relationships.

This is clearly problematic , well at least it is clear to me. It seems these classes of persons expect their partner to heal or fix them. They depend on the love in this relationship to help them get over the love they lost or they have no idea who they are or what they want so they just settle for whomever comes along. This is very toxic behavior and will almost never work in the long term. This is why it is so crucial that before you get into a relationship that you love yourself first. It all comes back to your concept of self. It all comes down to how much you love yourself.

If you love yourself, you won’t allow that ex to control you for the rest of your life;

If you love yourself you won’t let him or her abuse you whether physically or verbally ;

If you love yourself you won’t need your partner to help you get over him or her ;

If you love yourself you will be yourself instead of being who you think your partner wants you to be;

If you love yourself no one else will need to because you’ll be self sufficient and any love you encounter will be a choice and not a necessity. You won’t need love and therefore you will only give your love to those deserving.

With all that being said. Here are a few points to note on your self love journey.

1. You are worthy of Love ! Write it down , make it your screen saver , Stick a sticky note on your mirror ; do whatever it takes to remind yourself that You are worthy of Love!

2. You have to be selfish with your time and energy. When you are learning to love yourself you have to learn to say “NO”.

3. Date yourself! Do the things you love alone. Once you get comfortable going to movies , dinner or even the spa alone you’ll realize that a partner is an option not a necessity.

4. Love yourself unconditionally. Take a few moments a day. Look in the mirror. Take off your clothes and really spend some time looking at yourself. Look at your face , your body. Embrace every inch of you and smile and know that you are worthy of Love.

5. If you don’t love the way you look change it. It makes no sense being insecure about your weight or some other thing you can change like your hair. If you want to lose 20 lbs quit fretting and hit the gym. If you think your hair is dull get some highlights. If you hate your butt do some sqauts! This will also build your confidence , you’d be surprised how much a change of appearance can do for you.

6. Cut all negative ties! I don’t care if it’s a family member or a best friend. If people in your life are negative and make you feel insecure or unworthy ;Cut Them off ! If Granny has to go Granny has to go !

Finally , I am not suggesting that you shouldn’t spend time with love ones or friends but you have to invest more time in yourself. So if you spend 2 hours a day with them , I expect you devote 6 to 8 hours to loving yourself!

2020 is the year for Love ! Love yourself first and everything else will fall into place. Have a great day Loves. Love you all xoxo

2020 ! It’s about time !

2020 is here finally !

I began 2020 the same way I began 2019 hopeful and fighting sleep, cause y’all know I be knocked out by 9 pm most nights.

I know it’s usual for persons to make New Year resolutions because at the end of and old year the atmosphere is reflective and positive, but instead I want us to focus on the fact that in a few months it will be 2021 , then 2022, then 2023 and I’m sure by now you get the idea.

I recall 2 decades ago I was so excited as I awaited the dawn of the year 2000. Then I awaited 2010 , at which point I was in college.Somehow after College the years just flew by ;I honestly feel like since I finished College and started University the years just swept by without warning. Before I knew it I was awaiting a new decade and considering how I got to this point and how much further I need to go. Before , I know it I’ll probably be awaiting 2030 with similar sentiments.

The past years and decades I’ve learnt a lot but one extremely valuable lesson that I’ve learnt is that you should never allow anyone to waste your time. I often say “ Stop wasting my time” or “Time is money , so don’t waste my time” and you better believe I mean it.

I am telling you first hand that if you don’t make proper use of your time you’ll always be making the same resolutions year after year , you’ll find yourself dealing with the same issues and you’ll find yourself being left behind with the waves of change.

For 2020 , It’s time we all take stock of our lives and our time! It’s time to become selfish with your time ! Reclaim your time, wasted time is worst than wasted money. Let this year be the year you spend your time on the things and people who matter most.

And just like that I’m out of time. Goodnight loves !

It will be worth it when the pounds start to drop !

I’ve been on my fitness journey for a couple months now, and I must say that I am seeing results slowly but surely.

AI get tempted ALOT , usually after stressful days and work. I mean who can argue that dulce de leche on a waffle cone can’t fix any bad day . But so far I’ve been pushing through.

I am also constantly fighting against the allure of my favourite dish, Alfredo pasta, but so far I’ve been winning.

My “pineapple allergy” has prevented me from enjoying my favourite shakes and smoothies and a whole host of other foods I used to enjoy. But that’s life, well atleast my life at the moment.

I’m here to offer some solace for those who may be on a similar journey.

Yes, it sucks that you can’t eat a whole tub of icecream when you are feeling down or have the occassional snicker or cadbury or pretty much enjoy anything that makes you truly happy ; but it all feels worth it when you put on your favourite pair of jeans and it is too big around the waist, or your clothes begin to fit you loosely in all the right places.

It feels worth it when your friends or family start to comment on your weight loss and finally when you have to go shopping for a whole new wardrobe because you’v dropped a size or two.

But the best feeling in the world is when you fit into that “poster dress”.

You ladies know what I mean ; it may be the dress you wore two ,maybe four years ago but haven’t been able to wear since you put on weight or for those who are a bit more ambitious like me , the dress you bought two sizes under for your birthday or other special occassion to give yourself that extra push.

My poster dress is a cute peach dress that I wore over 6 years ago to a Fresher’s Cocktail which has been hung in my room right by my mirror for a little over a year now. I almost fit into it for New Years Eve last year but then I got sidetracked. However, I’m determined to fit into that dress by my birthday, which is less than a month away)

Whatever your version of the poster dress or outfit is, you owe it to yourself to wear it again!

So as July begins let us all promise to put in that extra special effort to be poster dress ready by our deadlines ! And let’s crush those deadlines too !

Wish me luck and have a good day loves. xoxo

Stress tips !!!

Last night concluded an extremely stressful work week. I was feeling extremely ‘out of it’ but I still managed to drag myself to my 6:30 spin class and somehow made it through. I rushed home and when I got there I gathered all the energy I could muster and drew a warm bubble bath , stripped and got in it and just lay there.

The seconds turned into minutes, the minutes into an hour , and somehow all the stresses and stressors of the week seemed to disappear in those quiet moments. I had purposely left my phone in my bag in my room and even if it not there was no way I was letting anyone for whatever reason interrrupt my “me time“.

When I finally emerged from that bath over an hour later I felt like an entirely new person ready to take on the world and work again. Why am I oversharing you may ask? Simple ! I believe we all need to find our destressers!

I have several destressors. And they rank in order of the severity of the stress level.

  1. Watch my all time favourite comedy ;Hangover 1. You CANNOT be stressed while watching Hangover.
  2. Binge watch a funny show like Black-ish or catch up on Catfish. Refer to the rationale for number 1.
  3. Go to the movies alone; Popcorn,nachos, salsa, a smoothie and a good laugh always manage to help me put my life in perspective.
  4. Beach days with friends or solo beach days are also a great for destressing.
  5. Spa days are second to none. I mean who can turn down a nice relaxing spa day whether alone or with close friends.
  6. Read a new book. This works for me because I’m big on reading but I acknowledge it’s not for everyone.
  7. My all time favourite destresser is Icecream. I mean, Who doesn’t like icecream? And more importantly who can be stressed while sitting over a tub of haagen dazs ice cream , preferably dulce de leche( arguably the best flavour in the world).

Maybe you’ve had a rough week like I’ve had or maybe you’re having a rough couple of weeks or even months. Maybe you’ve been feeling frustrated , insecure depressed or are just overly stressed. Whatever it is I’m sure it won’t seem so big when you’re stuffing your face with icecream or lying in a warm bubble bath with some soothing music playing. Trust me!

And guess what ? It’s Friday so the week is almost over.

Treat yourself this weekend!

Destress in any way you deem best ! ( I just rhymed there lol … some would call it poetic)

Enjoy your Weekend Loves ! xoxo

Help! I’m allergic!

Who doesn’t love pineapples?

This delicacy has been my favourite fruit since I could feed myself.

I love pineapples in all forms :raw fruit, juice but especially in smoothies. I usually start my mornings with a strawberry pineapple or strawberry,banana and pineapple homemade smoothie which always guarantees I have a great day.

About a month ago I bought a strawberry pineapple smoothie from my favourite shake place and realised it made my throat itchy and lips sting and blister but I played it off as maybe it was an acid one and they had not added enough sugar.

The next week I made a smoothie at home using strawberries, bananas and canned pineapples with no added sugar , and a few blocks of ice. Immediately I realised my throat starting itching. At this point I convinced myself it was probably the preservatives in the can and it couldn’t possibly be the pineapple.

I even revisited the smoothie place and asked the lady if they used fresh pineapples as opposed to canned. She assured me they did. I reluctantly settled for a strawberry banana smoothie and mused over the fact that it was missing pineapple.

I stopped eating pineapples for about a week or two after that.

I had forgotten about my pineapple problem for a while until yesterday I purchased 2 bags of fresh sliced pineapple from a fruit vendor as I’m on a fruit cleanse and as soon as I bit into one and the sweetness ran down my lips; my tongue, throat and mouth began to tingle and itch and my lip ultimately got blistered and slightly swollen.

There it was, the seemingly undeniable truth that I am allergic to pineapples! But delusion is a stronger tool than we sometimes realise , so of course I finished the pineapple convincing myself it was a bit sour.

I ate the other pineapple this morning for breakfast and now it is very clear that I am allergic!

But how can this be ??!!

  1. Pineapple is my favourite fruit.
  2. I have been eating pineapples since I was a child.
  3. How am I now realising this allergy at 26 ?!
  4. This does not make any damn sense !
  5. I really love pineapples !
  6. Pineapple juice is also my favourite juice
  7. This is almost as bad as finding out I’m lactose intolerant and can’t consume icecream!
  8. My second favourite fruit is strawberry, but it can never compare to pineapple.
  9. This would mean no more pizza because what is pizza without pineapple.
  10. No more pina coladas??!!

After I was finished venting to my significant other who is always pretty calm in the midst of my adversity, He suggested that I stop eating pineapples immediately that it isn’t a joke. But what does he know?! Is he an allergy specialist??!

I am not being dramatic ! I am pretty crushed ! This is worst than finding out that there is no tooth fairy or santa clause for a child. Sorry if I spoiled that for you guys but I’m bitter.

This is like finding out you are adopted and suddenly you begin to question everything!I’m legit questioning if I could have possibly ignored warnings for all those years. I have prolly eaten pineapples 300 times out of the 365 in a year.

I don’t know who I am anymore!

I don’t know what to eat . I don’t know what to drink! I am so lost without pineapple.

I am hoping to take a short nap now and when I wake up this will all be a dream. But incase this isn’t a dream or some sick joke, What do I do?

Do I accept this to be my fate or Do I face it head on and say , Challenge accepted? lol

Have a great day loves! Please eat some pineapple while you can because someday you may wake up and have that luxury snatched away from you.

Be blessed!

It’s okay

I’ve restarted the gym for the third time this year and today totals one week I’ve been back, Yea me! I should be at a spin class this very moment but instead I’m sitting on my bed sipping juice from a wine class and watching lifetime. And that’s okay.

Before I would beat myself up and get annoyed about my lack of results. I’ve started and restarted diets more times than I can count. I’ve watched cheat meals which I usually have on Fridays turn into cheat weekends effortlessly. I’ve managed to remain pescatarian but have been struggling over the last month to become full vegetarian.

When I post I’m back on a new diet or back to the gym people literally message me and say ” Here we go again”. Even my boyfriend has given up on my dieting and often says “You’ve said this before” but nonetheless here I am another day, another diet TAKE 30!

Why am I telling you this? Simple!

I want everyone reading this to know that It’s okay.

Maybe you’re struggling to lose that last 10 lbs for the last 2 years and that’s okay.

Maybe you thought you’d be married by 25 and have 2 children by 30 but instead you’re broke , single and have 3 cats. That’s also okay.

Maybe you’re feeling lost and like nothing in your life is going as planned just take a break , maybe get a glass or wine or a scoop of icecream and take a deep breath love. It’s okay.

Maybe you just finished university or college. You have no idea what to do next or if you’ll even find a job. Just take a minute or a week to relax and gather your thoughts and guess what ?! We’ve all been there and it’s okay.

All of these things are okay.

It’s okay that I’m not at my goal weight. I’m actually so far from my goal weight that I can hear people singing ” To dream the impossible dream” in the background.

It’s okay that I don’t have my dream job or my own home as yet.

It’s okay that I’m not married or have children at 26. I mean children are expensive! I’m expensive! I can’t even afford my lifestyle! But some of my family and friends seem to think that should be my plan.

What’s not okay is letting persons or society pressure you into their norms or standards if you aren’t ready. You’re supposed to be working by 21, married by 25 and have children and a mortgage by 30 ?! Did I get it right? I’ll pass every single time. And that’s okay.

It’s really okay. You are in competition with no one but yourself. It’s your life and your story so write it, let no one guide your pen. You’re doing great and you will be fine.

Goodnight loves

Why is Losing Weight so hard?

Short answer ? Everything that tastes amazing is bad for you and aids in weight gain.

I am clearly no weight loss expert as I have been struggling with my weight for over 2 years. One minute I’ll stick to a diet and lose all the weight and then I’ll put all the damn weight back on at which point I’ll give up, say at least I tried and I’m cute anyway so who cares.

They are several reasons why persons struggle with weight loss like I do. Here are just a few

1.Everything I love is terrible for weight loss

Anyone who knows me know that I have a sweet tooth and Icecream and Chocolate Cake have very special places in my heart. These however like all the other things I love are terrible for weight loss and therefore have continually stunted my progress.

2. Lack of Self Control

Some of you are probably like me and lack self control. I’m the chick whose cheat meals turn into cheat days and/or cheat weekends. If you’re like me you already know what to do stop pushing the limits if you said one meal enjoy the meal and then go back to the plan.

3. Laziness

I am pretty lazy. I have to be in the mood to work out but I do love spin classes and morning jogs. If you’re like me I guess you just have to find the physical activity which you love. I personally believe that everyone loves spin but I know it’s not for everyone.

4. Stop skipping breakfast

I’m generally not a breakfast person. But I’ll probably make a shake or smoothie before a workout. Even if you don’t have a huge breakfast you need a substantial breakfast as it has been proven that skipping breakfast is more harmful than good when it comes to weightloss.

5. Eating too much or too little

Eating too much goes without saying but eating too little may be even more harmful. It not only sabotages your weight loss efforts but it can be harmful to your health. Your body can go into starvation mode which can lead to complications like low blood pressure or anemia. So when cutting calories make sure you maintain the daily required amount for healthy weight loss

6. Plan your meals

If you’re like me you lose control or unravel when hungry. This is why meal planning is key. This will prevent you from grabbing the first thing you can when you become hungry which is usually junk food or snacks.

7. Stop comparing yourself to others

Though I’ve never had this issue it may be a struggle for someone else. We all have to recognise that we are on our own weight loss journey. We also have to accept that we have different body types , metabolic levels and dietary needs. It is critical that you never judge how quickly or slowly you are losing weight in relation to another and just trust your process.

I wish to reiterate that I am no weight loss expert but these are just a few observations.

Also, if you are trying to lose weight you should definitely cut carbs from your diet. A low carb diet is key. Eliminate flour ( especially bread and pasta) and sugar as much as possible.

Drink your water, exercise regularly ( 3 to 4 times a week is recommended but varies based on the intensity of your programme) and get adequate amounts of sleep (6 to 8 hours recommended).

Finally , Just remember that you are beautiful and you’re going to lose the weight! Just trust the process.

What are you guys watching?

I’m sure most of you like me are patiently waiting for April 14th. I’m so invested. I’m on my fifth watch of the entire series so I’m right on time with the Final Season. After all “Winter Is Here”!

Other than that I’m binge watching several other shows that I’ve fallen behind on. My television show interests are all over the place. It’s a mixture of action, drama and comedy.

Truthfully I have different types of shows for different days and different moods.

For example, If I’ve had a stressful day or week there’s nothing I want to watch but “Black-ish” or “Shameless”. If I’m not super stressed but want a good laugh I’d find myself watching “Modern Family” orGrown-ish”.

I’m hooked on “How To Get Away With Murder “, “9-1-1” and I have been scrubbing in with “The Resident” , but have fallen behind in “This is Us” after the break. Honestly, that show gets me so emotional I think I need an emotional break and a box of tissues before I restart.

Suits was my heart but as happy as I am for Meghan she took piece of me away when she left the show. I am an avid Mike Ross fan though and will be binge watching that later on this year.

Most of my friends have been basically begging me to watch “Power” but since “Empire” has disappointed me so much I’m honestly probably never gonna start. I know it’s nothing like Empire that’s what everyone says but I just can’t take that chance at this stage in my television show experiences. I’ve been hurt before I need to heal first lol.

There’s this other show I found called “The Wrong Guy” that I was hooked on for a bit last year but I haven’t had the time to fit it in my schedule while trying to juggle the others and still make my April date. A girl has to get her priorities in check. I know y’all know who’s voice I said that in!

Finally, I watched a very thrilling season of “Killing Eve” and also plan to keep watching that but for now A girl must be ready for Winter!

I want to know what you guys are watching and if you have any suggestions for me. So feel free to like and comment and let me know what y’all are watching and if you guys are getting ready for winter too.

As usual have a great day !

Adulting in 5 easy steps!

Almost 2 years ago I came to the stark realisation that I was not going to have my life together by 25. I had recently graduated from law school and after numerous rejections was feeling pretty depressed. I was single and broke with no prospects in sight.

My twenty-fifth year was approaching fast and the closer it got the clearer it became that it was going to be nothing like I had envisioned. It took me a moment to realise, but this did not mean that I was a failure or that I am wasting my life.

If you are scared to start Adulting, have (for whatever reason) not been Adulting , have not the slightest clue how to start Adulting or simply have been Adulting but are feeling overwhelmed… Don’t worry! I have a plan as I always do  and we shall get through this together!

Life does not come with instructions. So here are my steps to mastering Adulting.

Number 1: Take Responsibility

Regardless of the reason that you aren’t or haven’t been Adulting, you need to accept responsibility. Maybe you had a tough life or couple of years, maybe you got screwed over , maybe you can’t find a job, maybe you’ve been studying all your life , maybe you’ve been sheltered all your life. The harsh reality is NO ONE REALLY CARES.
Every person has been through a tough period in their life , has lost someone , has been hurt, has hit rock bottom or has felt like giving up and for this reason , no one wants to hear your sad stories. So keep them to yourself.

Coupled with this, you need to lose the attitude of entitlement! No one is entitled to give you anything or do anything for you. You are an adult , so start acting like it! Trust me , It’s time to stop playing the blame game and to start getting in the game. If you want something you have to get up and go get it.

I was bitter and disappointed when I sent out over 30 applications and received either rejections or no responses at all. I eventually got to the place that I accepted that it was on me to find or make employment for myself. Those persons owed me nothing not even an explanation but I owed myself. I owed it to myself to put my law degree to good use and to ensure that all those years I studied were not in vain.

This is not an easy step. It takes a strong person to conquer this step but I did and you can too.

Number 2: Make a plan

A goal without a plan is just a wish” – Katherine Patterson

You may not be like me and have a plan for every single aspect of your life. But in order to move forward you must have some sort of plan or goal in mind. Ask yourself these two questions: What do you want ? and How can you make it happen? The answer to these questions will determine the nature of your plan. So get to it.

Your childhood days are over so you cannot expect or rely on anyone else to make a plan for you. Furthermore, it’s your life and you are the one who has to live with the results of the decisions you make so I strongly suggest you take control.

I decided after long consideration that I wasn’t going to wait on any firm to reject or hire me any longer I was going to be self sufficient and I was going to invest in my future and take a chance on myself. It was honestly the best decision I ever made.

Number 3Cut Unnecessary ties

A big part of Adulting is being able to make tough decisions. This can include losing a couple parasitic people from your life and truly considering who your true friends are. Guys, it’s okay to grow apart from people , it dosen’t mean that you hate each other or have to see them and cause a scene, it simply means that their chapter in your life is over and you are doing what is best for you. To avoid the drama,  I usually just change  my cell number.

This also applies to relationships. You have to know what you want, and by now you should know what you can and cannot tolerate. Have standards and don’t lower them for anyone! Don’t date or lead on people you don’t see a future with. Just be honest and cut them lose, it’s time to grow up!

Number 4: Get your priorities in check

Your parents are no longer expected to bail you out of situations and you should not allow them too, unless it’s out of jail of course.

You need to get your act together and start making wise decisions. This means it is no longer cute to spend your last on an outfit or a fete weeks away from your next pay check. It means that you do not need the latest iphone if you cannot afford it or if you have bills to pay or could use that money towards something more substantial.

It means that you will have to say no to chilling until 4 am on work nights because you have to be up at 6 am to prepare for work. It means you are going to act like a responsible adult and always consider the effect of your actions.

Once you learn to prioritise Aduting will become a breeze.

Number 5: Learn how to handle rejection

This is very crucial to Adulting! It is no longer cool to throw tantrums like a brat or act like the world revolves around you. Suck it up and move on. Failure is not final, and how you handle failure will determine how successful you will be.

Every successful person has failed at some point in time; Walt Disney was fired from a job because he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas”, Oprah Winfrey was also fired from her first television job because she was too emotionally invested in her stories, Thomas Edison’s teachers told him he was  ” too stupid to learn anything” ,     Albert Einstein had difficulty communicating and learning in the traditional manner… and I can go on , but I’m sure you get the point.

They didn’t give into their failures but used those experiences to drive them to do better, and today none of them can be considered failures.

Sadly , rejection and failure is inevitable.

You will fail a test or exam ; you may get rejected from several employers before even getting an interview ; the person you like  may not feel the same way , but that’s life.

Just remember! Do not give up! Do not allow the circumstance to have that power over you, if you want it bad enough you will find another route. Learning how to handle rejection separates the average from the extraordinary. Which are you going to be ??

Let’s get our Adulting on then . I really hope you enjoyed this post. Feel free to like or comment. Have an awesome day!!!! 🙂


Hi loves! In an effort to blog daily I want to talk to you today about stocktaking. I know the idea can be pretty boring but just hear me out, it may surprise you!

I am sure you are all familiar with the process known as stocktaking. But just in case you are not, from a business perspective, it refers to the examination or recording of the amount of stock or material in a business; and generally it refers to the examination or accessing of one’s present situation, options and degrees with regard to
accomplishments and goals. It allows you to refocus and consider where you are and where you want to be.

Ever so often we consider questions like: How the hell did I get so far off track ? Why is nothing going as planned ? What the hell is wrong with me? How do I fix this situation?

Why haven’t I done … yet ? Why am I not where I thought I would be by now? How did my 5 year plan get so off track? How am I (insert age) and have nothing to show for it ?  Am I really happy ?  Am I really ready to be married in a year? Am I really ready to have another baby? How far away am I from reaching self actualisation?

The answer to these questions are only wrought by quiet, deep self reflection.

The answer to these questions requires you to take stock of your life!

I acknowledge though that most people detest this process.Most employees dislike it because it is a very tedious and time consuming task; and dependent on the size of the store and the labour force it can range from days to weeks. Likewise ,Consumers , my self included, hate when stores are closed for stocktaking as it prohibits their access to materials which they require.

In our individual lives , most people hate having to finally be confronted by the truth, they hate being forced to look in the mirror which they have been avoiding, they hate accepting that the relationship simply won’t work regardless of how much you love him or her or that they simply are not in control of their lives anymore.

It can be a reality check, it is time to lift up the rug where you swept all your problems, time to accept that you have been wasting time, time to accept that you have misplaced your priorities or simply just are a bit off track… It’s time to stop running and face the music!

Whatever it is for you individually , It is necessary. Only when you start to account for the stock you used or lost, can you verify the amount remaining. Only when you consider the mistakes you have made that brought you here can you move forward and ensure you don’t make the same mistakes again.

From a business sense, it is easy to lose track of the stock when someone is not constantly recording.Similarly, it is easy to become so caught up in our everyday lives that we lose track of time, and sometimes our goals or purpose.

It’s easy in  a relationship to forget that you are an individual too, it’s easy in a work environment to forget about your personal goals, it’s easy when pursuing your studies to be so consumed that you forget there is life outside of or after university, and when you are on vacation to forget you eventually have to return home.

The point is when life is nice , and seemingly perfect , we tend to sweep threats to our happiness under the rug , or ignore them.Until, we can’t anymore and we’re forced to account for them.

But regardless of how you end up in the stock room , it’s important that you eventually get there for a number of reasons:

1. It provides a holistic view of your current situation.

Taking stock requires us to pause or stop! We are only human and we all require a break at some point in time. From a business sense, it would be very difficult if not impossible to complete the process with a store full of customers, and this is why during this time the stores close their doors to the public. In our daily lives, it is difficult to stock take when we are caught up in our jobs , studies , relationships and other activities. We too need to close our minds door for a while , just to focus specifically on ourselves.

Stocktaking then requires us to leave our comfort zones , take a break , a quiet moment , sometimes just to get some “me time” to consider where you have been and where you are going. When you are busy you can’t really consider what is going wrong but a few moments or hours of self reflection can get you right back on track.Your discrepancies become realised and you are able to correct them before they get out of hand.

2. It provides an accurate description 

It allows you to evaluate your life. Most people hate dealing with their faults. They ignore them, deny them, conceal them or convince themselves they aren’t that big of a deal. This process is aimed to combat just that. This is your opportunity to deal with your flaws head on, to deal with the things that have been hindering you thus far and to work on or sometimes get rid of them. You can literally consider your pros and cons at this stage. It allows you to build on the good qualities or resources that you have left, and also consider if you need to regain those which you may have lost. It allows you to make a realistic plan for the future based on your personal assets. 

3. It should make you better

After a stock take , all your stock should be accounted for. 
At this point you should have fixed your problems or discrepancies and devised a plan. I’m not saying you won’t mess up or get side tracked, but if and when you do you will have the tools required to bounce back.

Apart from in the business sense, Please try not to wait for an entire year before you initiate a stock take , I believe every 3 to 4 months should do the trick.  Pause ! Step out of your comfort zone ! Take your time and consider; Where am I? How did I get here ?Am I where I want to be? And if not, How do I get where I intend to be ?

As usual, I hope you enjoyed ! Feel free to like and comment! Have a great day!

Nomophobia! The Silent Addiction

Today I want to talk to you about the growing trend of Nomophobia which literally means “no-mobile-phone-phobia“.

It is defined as the irrational fear of being unable to use your phone for some reason, such as the absence of a signal or running out of minutes or battery power.

The Video by Gary Turk entitled “Look Up” sums it up perfectly. It’s time we look up from our devices and see the beauty that lies around us. It’s time we worked on actual friendships instead of focusing so much on how many Instagram friends we have. It’s time we get off social media and became more sociable.

I discussed this topic at Youth Group last Friday night and not surprisingly most of the younger persons attested that they really cannot imagine life without their phones. Most of us admitted that we all get in to a bit of a panic when we leave home and reach into our bags or pockets and cannot immediately locate our phones.

We all stated that we never turn off our phones not even at nights even if we are going to sleep. Most of them stated that they never turn off their phones. Furthermore , they can’t fall asleep without their phones by their side like an accessory. Each one of them attested that the first thing they do in the morning is to their phones and there is usually a moment of panic where they search around their beds for their phones and only after they have found them can they then lie down comfortably and begin their day by checking their whatsapp messages or social media feeds.

Some of us have adopted some of these practices which are all signs of Nomphobia. But do not despair you are not alone.

Several studies and surveys since 2008 prove that the feeling of anxiety in the absence of a mobile phone affects over 50 % of the population. It affects young people more because they are used to this technology from an early age and are more vulnerable as they need social approval provided by the continuous use of social networks. The study further proved that 67 % of persons or 2 in 3 people sleep with or next to their smart phones. Even more startling 34 % of persons admitted to answering their cellphone during intimacy with their partner. Crazy right?!

Considering all that was said before I want to challenge each of you to look up from your phones or tablets or any devices. I am challenging you to have a face to face conversation as oppposed to a whattsapp message even right now. Put down your phones at dinner and actually have a conversation. Enjoy the moment instead of taking a picture or video of it. Tell someone you like or love them instead of giving them a like on instagram or facebook.

I challenge you to a weekend social media cleanse. It may mean turning off your phone. It may also mean signing out of Instagram , Facebook or Twitter or whatever your social media drugs may be. Instead spend this weekend enjoying nature or reading a physical book. You can take a walk, a jog or just hang and have fun with friends or family.

Just for one (1) weekend. I challenge you and myself to Look up!

Love You!

With Valentines Day just around the corner I wanted to take this time out to remind you guys of the importance of Self Love. Receiving love from a partner or a family member is great but that fades in comparison to the love we should feel for ourselves. I am a true believer that no one but God can love me more than I love myself.

“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance” Oscar Wilde .

When was the last time you devoted a day or a couple hours to loving you?

Maybe you went to a nice restaurant to treat yourself , you may have watched a movie on the big screen alone or planned a special spa day just for you. Regardless of the way you choose to , when was the last time you solely devoted a couple hours or a day to loving yourself? When last have you had some real self love time?

If your answer is I don’t know or I’m not sure, I want to encourage you to fix it immediately.

I know self love is trending. It has become a catch phrase and a hashtag on Instagram and other social media platforms. We often hear people say that you can’t love someone unless you love yourself first or he/she wouldn’t have done a particular thing had he/she loved him/herself.

Self Love is defined as regard for one’s well being and happiness (chiefly considered as a desirable rather than narcassistic characteristic).

My wish for all of you this Valentine’s Eve is that you truly learn to love and appreciate yourself. Here are some simple steps to achieving Self Love.

  1. Never compare yourself to others

I personally always say that I am in competition with no one but myself and I mean that with all my heart. Your only competition should be your former self and becoming better than you were in the past. This means you push yourself to achieve your goals and attain the plans you have for your life.

Ladies especially , we have got to stop comparing ourselves to others. Too often we go on Instagram and see our friends or even worst people we don’t even know travelling the world or buying expensive stuff and we immediately begin to feel less than them! Please stop that now!

Or we see our friends getting married or having a second child and we start to say why can’t I find a man or what the hell is wrong with me? Again! Please don’t!

Just stop comparing yourself to others. Stop comparing your life, your lifestyle, your body, your skin or even your hair.

Comparison is the thief of joy!

If you continue to hold yourself to the standard of others , there will always be someone who is doing better than you but if you compete with yourself alone you will soon acknowledge that you are right where you are supposed to be and your journey is just that your personal journey.

2. Date yourself

I began dating myself at 18 years of age and have been making Akelia time ever since. This may seem strange to some but I have promised myself that regardless of whether I am in a relationship or not or have a heavy workload I will always make time for me. I began the journey of dating myself by going to the movies alone or more accurately going on movie dates with myself. I enjoyed that experience so much that I made it a weekly thing.

Through the years persons commented on how weird it was and some even asked if I was lonely and volunteered to come with me but I turned down each and everyone of them. This went from movie dates to lunch and dinner dates and eventually spa dates but you get the drift.

Self love is personal and each person has to do what they are comfortable with. But I urge you to learn to date yourself. For those looking to get into a relationship I truly believe that until you learn to date yourself you won’t be ready to date another. So get to dating today!

3. Look in the mirror

Take a long hard look at you.

Yes, you have flaws, we all do. But, I want you to look at who you really are.

You are beautiful. You are amazing. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You can and will achieve everything you set out to. You will be successful.

I accept that each person may be at a different level at this point in their life. Some of us may have this part covered , but some of you may need a little push. Others may need to pause and take a moment and look in the mirror right now and reassure themselves that they are amazing and worthy of your love.

4. Practice Self Care

A person who loves his or herself takes care of his or herself.

This means you will maintain your regular dental , medical or salon appointments. You will ensure you engage in healthy activities including proper eating habits, exercise, adequate sleep and social activities.

You will say no to activities that cause you to be stressed or overly distressed. I often say ” Do not stress me out” to my significant other when he gets on my nerves because I refuse to allow anyone to steal my joy or happiness. This means setting boundaries and limits at work as well as in social and intimate relationships. Remember , you are looking out for you.

5. Self Love is Not Selfish !

One of my favourite quotes says ” Self love is not selfish; you cannot truly love another until you know how to love yourself.” Likewise, you cannot expect someone to love you if you do not love yourself.

Never allow a partner or anyone at all to make you feel as though you are wrong or selfish for focusing on yourself first. Remember, you cannot love anyone more than you love yourself; and you are lying to yourself if you believe otherwise. So the more you learn to love yourself the more love you will have to share with others.

Loving yourself is magical and extraordinary. Learning to truly love yourself is a personal journey worth taking. Practicing Self Love will positively affect every single aspect of your life. I guarantee that you will be happier , more confident and more attractive just by beginning your journey. To begin this journey you must acknowledge the importance of loving yourself.

You need to commit to loving yourself! You need to make self love a priority!

I hope you guys liked my post today. If you recall nothing else , just remember, ” Self Love is not selfish”. It is necessary. Feel free to like and comment.

From Student to Unemployed

Hi Guys !

Today I want to talk about a topic which is very dear to my heart. I am sure there are persons who can relate and others who may experience this in the future so this may help you prepare. I hope.

University was great. Law school was not as great but life was good. Life was simple. Most of you like me would have been fed and financed by your parents. All you needed to do in return was to study and get decent grades and get the hell out of school so you could find a good job, right? Sounds easy enough right ?!

While studying you probably realised that the job market in most fields was saturated or that if you did find a job you would be working for a third of the salary you were expecting even with a fresh University Degree with Honours to boot.

But of course you believed you were special and would somehow beat the odds and be selected or that companies would be lined up waiting to hire you, right ? ! WRONG

You truly believed that you were now a wealth of knowledge and an asset to every company and based on this and your qualifications getting hired will be a breeeze, right? ! WRONG AGAIN

Or maybe you were the realistic type. You knew the economy and the country was saturated but you got a student loan just to finish your degree. It’s due now so regardless of how saturated the field was or how the companies were tightening their belts, there must be a job out there for you! You already know what comes next right?

I can go on but I think you get the picture…

A year and eight months ago. I was there. I had just finished all my exams and was eagerly awaiting bar call when I made the stark realisation that I had just graduated from the status of Student to Unemployed. So like any reasonable person I beefed up my resumee , made sure to add my newest qualification, made sure to put those 3 extra letters behind my name and kissed each envelope and sent out those budding applications.

For the first couple months I got no replies. I started to wonder if my applications were even received.But I didn’t have to wonder much longer because the rejections started coming in just as fast as the applications sent.

The one thing that stood out to me in most rejections was that I lacked work experience. This still baffles me to this day because you guys can correct me if I’m wrong but how can one gain years of work experience when he or she has been studying for 5 to 7 years straight trying to attain the qualifications necessary for the desired career?? I’ll wait!

I got rejected from every single law firm I applied to. I was angry , I was hurt , I was confused but more than anything else I was sad.

I decided as I always do to not be kept down! I was going to enjoy these months of freedom. So of course I travelled, I bought icecream every night, I joined some clubs, volunteered some more, of course I was at karaoke about 4 nights a week and at dinner the remainding nights. I was minutes away from being called a beach bum when it hit me that I was living my best life but my money was running out.

So I again sent out a few applications asked around some places and was met by more and more rejection. By now I was officially an Attorney, but a VERY unemployed attorney with a Student Loan staring me right in the face!

I honestly began to get very depressed and with each rejection it became worse. I would just lay in bed some days and stare at the ceiling and cry. I began to blame the society! I blamed the government! I even blamed myself for being so damn ambitious. Why did you have to go waste seven years of your life and spend so much damn money and run yourself in debt? Needless to say. I was a mess. I cried every single day. I prayed . I cried even more. I complained to friends. I had given up!

Most of my friends were experiencing the same situation so they were not much help at lifting my spirits nor was I at lifting theirs. My boyfriend at the time was so positive, always insisting that it would get better. I honestly hated that about him. I wanted to scream at him ” Dude , Just let me be unhappy! What the hell is wrong with you!”

He encouraged me to chanel my emotions into writing and I actually started a novel in the midst of my rut. That helped to some extent but on the other hand I had no job and a student loan whose grace period was slowly slipping away. Month by month, Week by week, Day by day.

Months passed. 7 months to be exact. I had given up on a legal career when a friend insisted that I come work with her doing Accounts. Anyone who knows me knows the thought of me doing anything involving numbers was extremely laughable! Needless to say, I survived about a week before being excused.

However, at one point during the week I lasted, I received a call. I had my first client. A family member had an issue and they wanted me to appear in court. I was scared, reluctant and intimidated because I could not let my family down. Despite it all, I made my first court appearance and I killed it !

Once I got a taste for the court I could not go back to my rut.From that moment I knew I couldnt keep staying at home feeling sorry for myself if I wanted to be an Attorney I was going to have to pick my butt up and make it happen. So I did.

I had actually met another young attorney in court who had inquired about where I was working. He suggested that I consider being self employed and coming to work at Chambers. I contacted the Chambers the Friday of that week and began working the Monday.

I said all that to say that I’ve been in the rut that some of you may be in or have been in but like my annoying boyfriend used to say it will get better BUT I will add only if you make it better.

I do acknowldege that being self employed is not for everyone, but it worked out well for me. Some persons work better with an employer.

To be quite frank. Being self employed is hard. It requires self motivation, discipline and tremendous investing in one’s self. My first couple months were really slow. I made the total sum of zero dollars and zero cents. I got discouraged on several occassions but I kept reminding myself that I am my brand and I am amazing and if I can’t take a chance on myself how can I really expect clients to.

Eventually it got better, Work picked up. I was getting calls and referrals and I longed for the boring days. I longed for those days when I literally had 3 hour naps at work in the afternoon. I had so much work I was literally up to my ears in it.

I know I’ve gone on about myself but honestly I learnt some difficult lessons during those unmcomfortable 7 months. I learnt that I needed to take respsonsibilty for my decisions. I chose to pursue a career in Law. No one made me. I now had to deal with the consequences of those actions.

I learnt to stop blaming others. Stop blaming the government , society, the companies. Just stop and take responsibility!

I learnt to lose the attitude of entitlement. No one is entitled to hire me or pity me. If I wanted a career I’m going to have to get up and fight for it. I was an adult now and it was time to start acting like it!

I learnt that no one really cares. Every person has been through a tough period in their life , has hit rock bottom or has felt like giving up and for this reason , no one wants to hear your sad stories. So keep them to yourself.

Finally , but most importantly for me , I learnt to handle rejection. I learnt not to take it so personally. They did not want me so what ? Move on !

If you’re reading this and currently are where I was not so long ago, “You are not alone”. It has been happening before you and will happen after you. Honestly, there are persons who finished school 2 and 3 years before me who still are not employed and the market is not getting any less saturated.

I wish I could tell you it gets better, but in some circumstances you have to take the initiative and make it better. So climb out that bed , Get out that rut and let’s get it !

Be Happy !

What makes you happy ?

I did a little research, i.e I googled the top things that make most people happy. Most studies on happiness confirm that family and relationships are the surest way to happiness. Following that was meaningful work and positive thinking.

Some find happiness in money and material possessions like their luxury cars or dream homes. They are those like myself who find sheer happiness in their ability to travel the world. Some find happiness in being surrounded by people while others find happiness in the silent moments when they are totally alone. Others find happiness in helping others, doing household chores or even in just exercsing (if I could only find happiness in this maybe I’d be in shape, lol).

Happiness is personal. 

What makes me happy won’t necessarily make you happy. A lesson I’ve learnt so many times. You guys don’t know this yet but I absolutely love karaoke. I truly believe I could be the next Whitney though I understand that everyone cannot appreciate my pure talent!

Likewise , I love moon gazing though most of my friends find it really boring and refuse to join me. One of my friends told me once that everytime she thinks about moon gazing she pictures me in a circle with weirdos singing Kumbaya. The sheer disrespect!

Personally, no one thing or person makes me happy. Icecream always makes my day , afternoon , evening or night but so do unexpected calls from friends I haven’t spoken to in a while. I love travelling and experiencing different cultures and this is just as fulfilling as game nights with family and friends.

Quality time with my family makes me especially happy as they are my everything but I’m also very happy just lying in bed blazing reggae music, which is what I’m doing right now.

I’ve learnt over the years that several things make me happy and I can’t attribute my happiness to any one thing. I also realised that I need to be happy with myself or nothing in this world will ever make me truly happy , they will all just be temporary fixes or moments of happiness but I’ll be left feeling empty when the music stops or when my friends leave.

This is a lesson that we all have to learn for ourselves. Too much of us look to things and people to determine our happiness. Lots of people allow a relationship to make them happy so when it ends or isn’t as fun they suddenly get sad and depressed. I’m not saying not to like or love people , but I am saying to NEVER allow another person to control your happiness.

Tonight, I want us all to stop for a second and think about this question. What makes you truly happy?

Take your time , take a notebook if need be, and find the thing or things that make you happy. Try as far as possible to do at least one of those things tommorow. If tommorow is not possible, make sure you find time during this week to do one thing that makes you truly happy.

Now I need you to do one more thing. Ask yourself, Am I happy?

I need you to be brutally honest with yourself. If your answer is Yes, that’s great , keep it up! But if your answer is No. Consider, what or who in your life is making you unhappy , and if you can’t get rid of it or them ; find a way to be happy despite it or them. I don’t care what it is ; be it a job , relationship or a dress you will never fit into again. Just get on with it and Be Happy!

Have a goodnight! And as far as possible, Be Happy!

How To Be Single

Those of you who followed my other blog know that this was my most popular post for 2017. Though I’m no longer single, I still believe I am very qualified to speak on this topic.

As you can imagine, This post isn’t for married couples, those in committed relationships or those desperately waiting or searching for “The One”. This is for persons who are absolutely comfortable and happy being single and plan to remain that way.

So without further ado, Here is how I’ve mastered the art in the past.

  1. Have extremely high expectations

This is stated first because it is critical. Once you master this step you will be well on your way.

Set your expectations high and do not lower those expectaions for anyone. I don’t care how cute or charming he/she may be. Once you lower your expectations easily or begin settling simply because you are lonely, needy or want to be loved you will probably get into a relationship. But consider this, Do you want the cheapest product or the best product?

I personally have a non-negotiable list, which includes things I simply won’t tolerate from a partner like smoking or cheating. I’m not suggesting that you walk around with a notepad and go on dates and be like ” nope that’s on the list and you just did that so sorry dude, you’re out”. You must know personally what you want and what you can and cannot tolerate. If you don’t know or have no standards or expectations you should be creating some not trying to get into a relationship.

So, to remain single, keep your expectations high.

2. Accept that you do not need a relationship

You may really like or love someone. But a relationship is simply not a necessity.

I’m the chick who wants to get kissed by my partner at midnight on new year’s eve so that we’ll have a great year, and I am still longing for my eiffel tower kiss. But, that’s simply a want not a need.

If I don’t get kissed I won’t die and it’s been proven because I’ve had some quiet new years eve celebrations on my couch cuddled up with my teddy bear, popcorn, icecream, wine of course and a live broadcast of the ball drop and other new year celebrations. Likewise, a relationship is not a necessity.

So, to remain single, accept that you are fine alone and do not need a relationship.

3. Stop comparing yourself to persons who are “boo’d up”

Alot of times, persons go on social media or watch hallmark movies and somehow begin to feed into the notion that a relationship somehow will transform their lives or that you will die or be shunned if they are still single while all their friends in relationships. God forbid if you aren’t married or have kids by 30.

I would honestly rather be alone with no kids at 30 than to be in a miserable , argumentative or abusive relationship. Too many of us don’t seem to understand that persons post the pictures on instagram after they have put on makeup to hide the dark marks or dried their tears.

I’m not bashing relationships at all , after all I am in a relationship but the reality is we place alot of persons on pedestals because we do not see them behind closed doors. Married couples and persons in 10 and 30 year relationships all attest that relationships are really hard work and the one attribute you must develop is patience.

So my advice is please do not judge or compare your life to that of any other. You can be single and happy. Be happy for your boo’d up friends, attend their weddings , like their photos , but accept that you’re not ready or you just haven’t met your person yet and that also is fine.

So, to remain single, accept that it is ok to be single and do not compare yourself to those in relationships.

4. Be too comfortable

If you want to remain single just be comfortable with who you are. Accept yourself flaws and all. Never try to hide them or make an effort to impress. Just be you and let persons take you or leave you. This will also help you build confidence and self love.

However, this can go both ways because being comfortable is encouraged in healthy relationships. The person who loves you will prefer authenticity over anything else. The right person will love you for you flaws and all.

But to remain single, just get way too comfortable or be comfortable initially. I am an expert at this because with me what you see is what you get. I’m literally the chick who has to take pictures of my hair fresh out the salon because I guarantee you by the next day my curls would have flopped, edges will not be laid and the list can go on.

I’m also the chick who never wears makeup, I honeslty don’t need it nor do I have the extra time it takes to get dolled up, the most I’ll do is lipgloss because I can’t be walking around with chapped lips in this climate. I never dress up when people stop by or say they are coming over to chill. I’ll be bright eyed and smiling in one of my brother’s shirts , shorts, socks and a headtie or more likely my hair in a hot mess , like nobody’s business. Most guys can’t handle the authenticity which is why in most cases it’s a guaranteed way to stay single. Authenticity always runs the fakers anyway. So be real and you’ll be fine.

I personally am too lazy to spend 2 or more hours doing makeup and then another hour on my hair. That would require me waking an extra 3 or more hours early and even typing that just made me feel sleep deprived. If there’s one thing I value in this world , it is my sleep. But I do commend the ladies who do so each and every day y’all are the real MVP’s. But for me personally, it’s too time consuming and time is money! But trust me if you doll down this is another way to remain single and also get rid of the fakers.

So, to remain single, Just be your comfortable, authentic self.

5. Wait on God

This is very important.

When we try to intervene and take matters in our own hands we will make the wrong choice.

I know you may feel lonely sometimes. But consider this , the right person is out there feeling lonely too. Patience is a virtue!

Use the time to spend with your family and friends and do some self examination; so that when the right person comes along you are actually ready for them. Who knows he/she may be stalling waiting for you to get your life in order.

These are my 5 steps to remaining happily single. Again , it’s not for those who don’t wish to be single. I hope you enjoyed it. Feel free to like and comment. I hope 2019 started great for you! All the best !

Lessons from 2018

It’s January 1st 2019. So first let me say Happy New Year to one and all.

On the first day of a new year I like to reflect on the year that has passed. 2018 has been a bipolar year for me. I’ve had alot of ups and downs. I lost loved ones and gained a new appreciation for my friends and family. I felt as though I would lose my mind a few times but thankfully I did not. I started dating an amazing guy who loves me and actually puts up with ALL my crap. I lost alot of weight and put back on some of it during the Christmas season, sighhh.

I invested in myself and started a job which has continued to challenge me everyday but the joy it gives me makes all the challenges worthwhile. I began volunteering at a nursing home because I just enjoy interacting with older persons. I usually sing songs, read bedtime stories or newspaper articles or do their hair and nails ; whatever it takes to to put smiles on their faces. It’s also a constant reminder that sometimes the things I get worked up about are very insignificant in the grand scheme of things. I became a pescetarian to lose weight but now I’ve adopted a healthier lifestyle and I eventually plan to become a vegetarian! I travelled,sang karaoke ,wrote poetry, worked on my novel, ate icecream, laughed , cried but I made it through. Through it all I’ve learnt some valuable lessons but I just want to share 3 valuable lessons on relationships today.

Lesson 1: Cherish your family while you still have them.

Recently, I got the devastating news that one of my closest family members is really ill, possibly even terminally ill. The feeling that overtook me was overwhelming to say the least. I cried, I prayed and I cried some more and then I accepted that I have to cherish the time I have left because there is a possibility she won’t recover. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m big on family. After God, my family easily takes second place in my life. I’m the chick who is constantly planning family game nights, movie nights even karaoke nights and dinners with the ones I love the most. I’ve lost alot of family over the years and sometimes sickness or death comes so unexpected you don’t get a chance to say goodbye. Trust me , cherish them now you still have them.

Lesson 2: True Friends are family.

I can truly say that I have been blessed with amazing friends. The type of friends who I can call at 4 am cause I’m going through a bad breakup or I just need to talk. Friends who volunteer to be my travel buddies just because I wanted to witness the balldrop in Times Square. Friends who will harshly or gently remind me I have no money for that a trip to Paris simply because I’m having a long day at work. Those who will support me 100 % when I’m right about something but will call me out on my bs without delay.

The type of friends who are genuinely happy for me when I succeed and genuinely hurt when I’m hurting. Friends who hold my hair back while I cry over some guy whilst quietly reminding me that it’s his loss. The type of friends who proof read every single one of my blogs. The ones who I sometimes don’t see or talk to in months but when we link up it’s like we stayed in touch. Friends who are irreplacable. Friends who have become my family. The type of friend I strive every single day to be.

Lesson 3: Some people aren’t meant to be a part of your life.

Some people who started your journey with you won’t end it with you and that’s ok. I dropped alot of persons after law school because I realised they were not contributing positively to my life. I realised that if we are truly the product of the people we spend the most time with I simply could not associate with them anymore on a daily basis. With that being said, I did not cause a scene , we do not hate each other. If I see them I will say ‘hi’ and smile but there is the understanding that it does not go beyond that point. Maturity dictates that you don’t have to be mean or disgusting to someone to cut them from your circle.

I’m sure some of you may be able to relate but for the earlier part of my twenties i’ve been super hung up on an ex. I would compare every guy I dated or every guy that had some interest in me to him and because I was in love with him they would all fall short. I would always talk to him about current relationships and run to him when they weren’t going as planned. For a few years he was basically my back up plan. I knew deep down no guy would have a fair chance nor would I have a fair chance at love again until I cut him loose. I just stopped messaging or calling and eventually it faded. Again I have no hard feelings , his season in my life has just come to and end.

So I’m just saying, Associations are important but sometimes in order for us to progress as people we have to cut the bad ones from our lives. My experiences are proof that it can be done maturely and effectively.

Just my little two cents. I am no expert on relationships. Truth is , I’m still navigating my life. I look forward to 2019 being a even better year for me. I wish you all the same.