With Valentines Day just around the corner I wanted to take this time out to remind you guys of the importance of Self Love. Receiving love from a partner or a family member is great but that fades in comparison to the love we should feel for ourselves. I am a true believer that no one but God can love me more than I love myself.
“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance” Oscar Wilde .
When was the last time you devoted a day or a couple hours to loving you?
Maybe you went to a nice restaurant to treat yourself , you may have watched a movie on the big screen alone or planned a special spa day just for you. Regardless of the way you choose to , when was the last time you solely devoted a couple hours or a day to loving yourself? When last have you had some real self love time?
If your answer is I don’t know or I’m not sure, I want to encourage you to fix it immediately.
I know self love is trending. It has become a catch phrase and a hashtag on Instagram and other social media platforms. We often hear people say that you can’t love someone unless you love yourself first or he/she wouldn’t have done a particular thing had he/she loved him/herself.
Self Love is defined as regard for one’s well being and happiness (chiefly considered as a desirable rather than narcassistic characteristic).
My wish for all of you this Valentine’s Eve is that you truly learn to love and appreciate yourself. Here are some simple steps to achieving Self Love.
- Never compare yourself to others
I personally always say that I am in competition with no one but myself and I mean that with all my heart. Your only competition should be your former self and becoming better than you were in the past. This means you push yourself to achieve your goals and attain the plans you have for your life.
Ladies especially , we have got to stop comparing ourselves to others. Too often we go on Instagram and see our friends or even worst people we don’t even know travelling the world or buying expensive stuff and we immediately begin to feel less than them! Please stop that now!
Or we see our friends getting married or having a second child and we start to say why can’t I find a man or what the hell is wrong with me? Again! Please don’t!
Just stop comparing yourself to others. Stop comparing your life, your lifestyle, your body, your skin or even your hair.
Comparison is the thief of joy!
If you continue to hold yourself to the standard of others , there will always be someone who is doing better than you but if you compete with yourself alone you will soon acknowledge that you are right where you are supposed to be and your journey is just that your personal journey.
2. Date yourself
I began dating myself at 18 years of age and have been making Akelia time ever since. This may seem strange to some but I have promised myself that regardless of whether I am in a relationship or not or have a heavy workload I will always make time for me. I began the journey of dating myself by going to the movies alone or more accurately going on movie dates with myself. I enjoyed that experience so much that I made it a weekly thing.
Through the years persons commented on how weird it was and some even asked if I was lonely and volunteered to come with me but I turned down each and everyone of them. This went from movie dates to lunch and dinner dates and eventually spa dates but you get the drift.
Self love is personal and each person has to do what they are comfortable with. But I urge you to learn to date yourself. For those looking to get into a relationship I truly believe that until you learn to date yourself you won’t be ready to date another. So get to dating today!
3. Look in the mirror
Take a long hard look at you.
Yes, you have flaws, we all do. But, I want you to look at who you really are.
You are beautiful. You are amazing. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You can and will achieve everything you set out to. You will be successful.
I accept that each person may be at a different level at this point in their life. Some of us may have this part covered , but some of you may need a little push. Others may need to pause and take a moment and look in the mirror right now and reassure themselves that they are amazing and worthy of your love.
4. Practice Self Care
A person who loves his or herself takes care of his or herself.
This means you will maintain your regular dental , medical or salon appointments. You will ensure you engage in healthy activities including proper eating habits, exercise, adequate sleep and social activities.
You will say no to activities that cause you to be stressed or overly distressed. I often say ” Do not stress me out” to my significant other when he gets on my nerves because I refuse to allow anyone to steal my joy or happiness. This means setting boundaries and limits at work as well as in social and intimate relationships. Remember , you are looking out for you.
5. Self Love is Not Selfish !
One of my favourite quotes says ” Self love is not selfish; you cannot truly love another until you know how to love yourself.” Likewise, you cannot expect someone to love you if you do not love yourself.
Never allow a partner or anyone at all to make you feel as though you are wrong or selfish for focusing on yourself first. Remember, you cannot love anyone more than you love yourself; and you are lying to yourself if you believe otherwise. So the more you learn to love yourself the more love you will have to share with others.
Loving yourself is magical and extraordinary. Learning to truly love yourself is a personal journey worth taking. Practicing Self Love will positively affect every single aspect of your life. I guarantee that you will be happier , more confident and more attractive just by beginning your journey. To begin this journey you must acknowledge the importance of loving yourself.
You need to commit to loving yourself! You need to make self love a priority!
I hope you guys liked my post today. If you recall nothing else , just remember, ” Self Love is not selfish”. It is necessary. Feel free to like and comment.