Lessons from 2018

It’s January 1st 2019. So first let me say Happy New Year to one and all.

On the first day of a new year I like to reflect on the year that has passed. 2018 has been a bipolar year for me. I’ve had alot of ups and downs. I lost loved ones and gained a new appreciation for my friends and family. I felt as though I would lose my mind a few times but thankfully I did not. I started dating an amazing guy who loves me and actually puts up with ALL my crap. I lost alot of weight and put back on some of it during the Christmas season, sighhh.

I invested in myself and started a job which has continued to challenge me everyday but the joy it gives me makes all the challenges worthwhile. I began volunteering at a nursing home because I just enjoy interacting with older persons. I usually sing songs, read bedtime stories or newspaper articles or do their hair and nails ; whatever it takes to to put smiles on their faces. It’s also a constant reminder that sometimes the things I get worked up about are very insignificant in the grand scheme of things. I became a pescetarian to lose weight but now I’ve adopted a healthier lifestyle and I eventually plan to become a vegetarian! I travelled,sang karaoke ,wrote poetry, worked on my novel, ate icecream, laughed , cried but I made it through. Through it all I’ve learnt some valuable lessons but I just want to share 3 valuable lessons on relationships today.

Lesson 1: Cherish your family while you still have them.

Recently, I got the devastating news that one of my closest family members is really ill, possibly even terminally ill. The feeling that overtook me was overwhelming to say the least. I cried, I prayed and I cried some more and then I accepted that I have to cherish the time I have left because there is a possibility she won’t recover. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m big on family. After God, my family easily takes second place in my life. I’m the chick who is constantly planning family game nights, movie nights even karaoke nights and dinners with the ones I love the most. I’ve lost alot of family over the years and sometimes sickness or death comes so unexpected you don’t get a chance to say goodbye. Trust me , cherish them now you still have them.

Lesson 2: True Friends are family.

I can truly say that I have been blessed with amazing friends. The type of friends who I can call at 4 am cause I’m going through a bad breakup or I just need to talk. Friends who volunteer to be my travel buddies just because I wanted to witness the balldrop in Times Square. Friends who will harshly or gently remind me I have no money for that a trip to Paris simply because I’m having a long day at work. Those who will support me 100 % when I’m right about something but will call me out on my bs without delay.

The type of friends who are genuinely happy for me when I succeed and genuinely hurt when I’m hurting. Friends who hold my hair back while I cry over some guy whilst quietly reminding me that it’s his loss. The type of friends who proof read every single one of my blogs. The ones who I sometimes don’t see or talk to in months but when we link up it’s like we stayed in touch. Friends who are irreplacable. Friends who have become my family. The type of friend I strive every single day to be.

Lesson 3: Some people aren’t meant to be a part of your life.

Some people who started your journey with you won’t end it with you and that’s ok. I dropped alot of persons after law school because I realised they were not contributing positively to my life. I realised that if we are truly the product of the people we spend the most time with I simply could not associate with them anymore on a daily basis. With that being said, I did not cause a scene , we do not hate each other. If I see them I will say ‘hi’ and smile but there is the understanding that it does not go beyond that point. Maturity dictates that you don’t have to be mean or disgusting to someone to cut them from your circle.

I’m sure some of you may be able to relate but for the earlier part of my twenties i’ve been super hung up on an ex. I would compare every guy I dated or every guy that had some interest in me to him and because I was in love with him they would all fall short. I would always talk to him about current relationships and run to him when they weren’t going as planned. For a few years he was basically my back up plan. I knew deep down no guy would have a fair chance nor would I have a fair chance at love again until I cut him loose. I just stopped messaging or calling and eventually it faded. Again I have no hard feelings , his season in my life has just come to and end.

So I’m just saying, Associations are important but sometimes in order for us to progress as people we have to cut the bad ones from our lives. My experiences are proof that it can be done maturely and effectively.

Just my little two cents. I am no expert on relationships. Truth is , I’m still navigating my life. I look forward to 2019 being a even better year for me. I wish you all the same.

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