Almost 2 years ago I came to the stark realisation that I was not going to have my life together by 25. I had recently graduated from law school and after numerous rejections was feeling pretty depressed. I was single and broke with no prospects in sight.
My twenty-fifth year was approaching fast and the closer it got the clearer it became that it was going to be nothing like I had envisioned. It took me a moment to realise, but this did not mean that I was a failure or that I am wasting my life.
If you are scared to start Adulting, have (for whatever reason) not been Adulting , have not the slightest clue how to start Adulting or simply have been Adulting but are feeling overwhelmed… Don’t worry! I have a plan as I always do and we shall get through this together!
Life does not come with instructions. So here are my steps to mastering Adulting.
Number 1: Take Responsibility
Regardless of the reason that you aren’t or haven’t been Adulting, you need to accept responsibility. Maybe you had a tough life or couple of years, maybe you got screwed over , maybe you can’t find a job, maybe you’ve been studying all your life , maybe you’ve been sheltered all your life. The harsh reality is NO ONE REALLY CARES.
Every person has been through a tough period in their life , has lost someone , has been hurt, has hit rock bottom or has felt like giving up and for this reason , no one wants to hear your sad stories. So keep them to yourself.
Coupled with this, you need to lose the attitude of entitlement! No one is entitled to give you anything or do anything for you. You are an adult , so start acting like it! Trust me , It’s time to stop playing the blame game and to start getting in the game. If you want something you have to get up and go get it.
I was bitter and disappointed when I sent out over 30 applications and received either rejections or no responses at all. I eventually got to the place that I accepted that it was on me to find or make employment for myself. Those persons owed me nothing not even an explanation but I owed myself. I owed it to myself to put my law degree to good use and to ensure that all those years I studied were not in vain.
This is not an easy step. It takes a strong person to conquer this step but I did and you can too.
Number 2: Make a plan
“ A goal without a plan is just a wish” – Katherine Patterson
You may not be like me and have a plan for every single aspect of your life. But in order to move forward you must have some sort of plan or goal in mind. Ask yourself these two questions: What do you want ? and How can you make it happen? The answer to these questions will determine the nature of your plan. So get to it.
Your childhood days are over so you cannot expect or rely on anyone else to make a plan for you. Furthermore, it’s your life and you are the one who has to live with the results of the decisions you make so I strongly suggest you take control.
I decided after long consideration that I wasn’t going to wait on any firm to reject or hire me any longer I was going to be self sufficient and I was going to invest in my future and take a chance on myself. It was honestly the best decision I ever made.
Number 3: Cut Unnecessary ties
A big part of Adulting is being able to make tough decisions. This can include losing a couple parasitic people from your life and truly considering who your true friends are. Guys, it’s okay to grow apart from people , it dosen’t mean that you hate each other or have to see them and cause a scene, it simply means that their chapter in your life is over and you are doing what is best for you. To avoid the drama, I usually just change my cell number.
This also applies to relationships. You have to know what you want, and by now you should know what you can and cannot tolerate. Have standards and don’t lower them for anyone! Don’t date or lead on people you don’t see a future with. Just be honest and cut them lose, it’s time to grow up!
Number 4: Get your priorities in check
Your parents are no longer expected to bail you out of situations and you should not allow them too, unless it’s out of jail of course.
You need to get your act together and start making wise decisions. This means it is no longer cute to spend your last on an outfit or a fete weeks away from your next pay check. It means that you do not need the latest iphone if you cannot afford it or if you have bills to pay or could use that money towards something more substantial.
It means that you will have to say no to chilling until 4 am on work nights because you have to be up at 6 am to prepare for work. It means you are going to act like a responsible adult and always consider the effect of your actions.
Once you learn to prioritise Aduting will become a breeze.
Number 5: Learn how to handle rejection
This is very crucial to Adulting! It is no longer cool to throw tantrums like a brat or act like the world revolves around you. Suck it up and move on. Failure is not final, and how you handle failure will determine how successful you will be.
Every successful person has failed at some point in time; Walt Disney was fired from a job because he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas”, Oprah Winfrey was also fired from her first television job because she was too emotionally invested in her stories, Thomas Edison’s teachers told him he was ” too stupid to learn anything” , Albert Einstein had difficulty communicating and learning in the traditional manner… and I can go on , but I’m sure you get the point.
They didn’t give into their failures but used those experiences to drive them to do better, and today none of them can be considered failures.
Sadly , rejection and failure is inevitable.
You will fail a test or exam ; you may get rejected from several employers before even getting an interview ; the person you like may not feel the same way , but that’s life.
Just remember! Do not give up! Do not allow the circumstance to have that power over you, if you want it bad enough you will find another route. Learning how to handle rejection separates the average from the extraordinary. Which are you going to be ??
Let’s get our Adulting on then . I really hope you enjoyed this post. Feel free to like or comment. Have an awesome day!!!! 🙂